5 Components of Finding Happiness
Happiness is often an elusive construct to many people, despite its seemingly basic nature. It gives people something to look forward to, goals that they can reach, and ultimately, gives them a life filled with satisfaction and self-worth. It should also be mentioned that it improves the quality of relationships in their life and creates more meaningful interactions with others. This begs the question, how does one find happiness and how can they actually achieve it?
1) Begin by taking an inventory of what is meaningful to you. Important to note here, make sure you are listing items that are meaningful to you and not others. It sounds simple but is often more complex than it seems. Possible items in this inventory can include: getting that promotion at work you have always wanted to feel great about your contribution to your company; taking that month long trip to Europe you have always dreamed about; finding a meaningful romantic relationship to start that family you have always wanted; working less so that you can spend more time with family or friends; finally going back to school to complete your dream degree program; being more social and making at least 2 new friends, etc etc.
2) Define barriers that exist toward achieving these goals. Typical barriers may include: needing to maintain a certain amount of money financially; not having enough money; lacking motivation to complete necessary tasks; tied down by obligations to family; lack of confidence in self; social or familial pressures to focus on other goals; feeling like you do not have enough time to devote to goals for achieving happiness.
3) Find steps towards achieving these goals. When doing this, take into account the barriers you just listed and attempt to compensate for them. For example, if you feel like you do not have enough time to pursue a happiness goal, make a schedule of you obligations throughout the day or weekend and identify timeslots that you can insert time for yourself. If you have to drop that lunch you had planned with coworkers, so be it. You will be happier in the long run. You could do the same type of step if you are tight on money. Identify what you could live without for a few months or so and attempt to cut it out of your budget and put that money directly into savings for your big trip (or whatever the goal is). If you feel like you are lacking motivation, try to incorporate at least one thing that will excite you each day into your life. This leads into #4.
4) Have fun finding happiness! This is possibly the most important component on this list. If you are not having fun in this process, it may feel like a chore or is simply seem too daunting to achieve. Be a dreamer! Envision that family you always dreamed of. Who is there? What kinds of activities are you doing together? Be specific and detailed! This can also help you define clearer goals. You know that trip you fantasize about to Paris or the Great Barrier Reef? Go ahead and take time to find pictures of the beautiful sites that are the driving force behind your desires! Maybe add a few of these pictures onto your actual budget sheet that you have created and put on your mirror or on your dresser! Trying to meet new friends but just keep finding rejection? Reward your difficult and courageous efforts by treating yourself to the movies or your favorite meal and then get back on that horse! You deserve it and you are learning a great deal from the experiences you are having (even if it’s difficult for you to see)!
5) Profit $$$. Reap the rewards of finally achieving your goals. Maybe now your old 9 to 5 job isn’t so bad these days since now you get to go home to your new wife and kid or can go out with your new friends after work or on the weekends. Perhaps when you are in the Himalayas, you are completely humbled, have grand epiphanies, and see life in a completely different way now…and are looking forward to your trip next year to the Yangtze River. You may feel wonderful about yourself since you found a way to go back to school AND still balance your obligations to your family because of those great night classes they offer.
True happiness is often hard to define due to responsibilities of daily life. However, if you follow these steps, you can begin to achieve everything you have dreamed about and finally attain that fulfilling life you have been searching for all these years. None of the barriers listed here are insurmountable and all of the outcomes are attainable. Finding happiness can and will give new breath into your life and can often have long-lasting effects. Stop living in the bad times and take steps towards the good. There has never been a better time!
Disclaimer: This blog does not provide or replace psychological treatment or evaluation. Contact a psychologist in your community if you are in need of individualized services.
-Written by Derek Brogdon, MA, LPC, LCDC-Intern